The keyboard can print all the letters of the alphabet (from A to Z), all the digits (from 0 to 9), and these symbols:

For example, the symbol * is officially called an “asterisk”. More briefly, it’s called a “star”. It’s also called a “splat”, since it looks like a squashed bug. In some programs, an asterisk means “match anything”, as in a card game where the Joker’s a “wildcard” that matches any other card.

In the diagram, I wrote the words “Shift”, “Backspace”, “LeftTab”, “Tab”, “Enter”, “Windows”, and “Menu” on some keys. To help people who don’t read English, keyboard manufacturers usually put symbols on those keys.

Stare at your computer’s keyboard and find these keys:

The keyboard contains special keys that help you do special activities (such as moving around the screen while you type):

The CapsLock, NumLock, ScrollLock, and Insert keys are called toggle keys: they create special effects, which end when you press the toggle key again.

SHIFT key

If a key has two symbols on it, the key normally uses the bottom symbol. To type the top symbol instead, press the key while holding down the SHIFT key.

Number keys

To type a number easily, use the keys in the top row of the keyboard’s main section. (For example, to type 4, press the key that has a 4 and a dollar sign.)

To keep your life simple, do not press the number keys on the right side of the keyboard. Those keys produce numbers just if the NumLock key is pressed beforehand, by you or the computer.

If the NumLock key was pressed to produce numbers, and you want to stop making the right-hand keys produce numbers, tap the NumLock key again.

Missing keys

If your keyboard has 101 keys instead of 104, your keyboard is missing the Menu key and the two Windows keys. Those 3 keys are unimportant, since most folks prefer to use a mouse instead of tapping those keys. If you wish, you can substitute other keys instead:

If your keyboard has just 83 keys, you suffer:

83-key keyboards work just with outdated computers. If you’re using an 83-key keyboard, that’s proof your computer is outdated! Buy a new computer system!

Kinds of keyboards

When buying a keyboard, you have many choices. You can buy an XT keyboard (83 keys), AT keyboard (101 keys), augmented AT keyboard (101 keys plus an extra copy of the backslash key), or Windows keyboard (101 keys plus 3 special keys that help run software called “Windows”). You can buy a standard-size keyboard (with a ledge above the top row, for placing your pencil or notes), compact keyboard (which has no ledge and consumes less desk space), foldable keyboard (which folds in half, as if you’re closing a book, so it consumes half as much desk space when not in use), or split keyboard (whose left third is separated from the rest, so you can have the comfort of typing while your forearms are parallel to each other). You can buy a tactile keyboard (which gives you helpful feedback by making a click whenever you hit a key), silent keyboard (which helps your neighbors by not making clicks), or spill-resistant keyboard (which is silent and also doesn’t mind having coffee or soda spilled on it).

The best split keyboard is the one made by Addison because it’s tactile, requires little pressure, and costs just $50 at Staples discount stores.

Phone Janesway at 800-431-1348 or 914-699-6710. At extension 2230, ask Joel Hudesman for the best spill-resistant keyboards ($30) and foldable keyboards ($70). Get free shipping by saying you’ve read The Secret Guide to Computers.

If you feed the computer a picture (such as a photograph, drawing, or diagram), the computer will analyze the picture and even help you improve it. To feed the computer a picture of an object, you can use four methods.…

Method 1: point a traditional video camera (or camcorder) at the object, while the camera is wired to the computer.

Method 2: take a picture of the object by using a digital camera, which contains a disk or RAM chips that record the image, then transfer the image to a computer.

Method 3: draw on paper, which you then feed to an optical scanner wired to the computer. Of the optical scanners that cost under $150, the best are Microtek’s X6 (which handles colors the best) and Visioneer’s One Touch (which is much easier to use and reads words the best but handles colors less accurately).

Method 4: draw the picture by using a pen wired to the computer. The computerized pen can be a light pen, touch screen, graphics tablet, mouse, trackball, or joystick.

Let’s look more closely at method 4.…

Light pens

A light pen is a computerized pen that you point at the screen of your TV or monitor. To draw, you move the pen across the screen.

Light pens are cheap: prices begin at $20. But light pens are less reliable, less convenient, and less popular than other graphics-input devices.

Touch screens

A touch screen is a special overlay that covers the screen and lets you draw with your finger instead of with a light pen.

Graphics tablets

A graphics tablet is a computerized board that lies flat on your desk. To draw, you move either a pen or your finger across the board. Modern notebook computers include a tiny graphics tablet (called a touchpad or glidepad), stroked with your finger and built into the keyboard (in front of the SPACE bar).

Mice

A mouse is a computerized box that’s about as big as a pack of cigarettes. To draw, you slide the mouse across your desk, as if it were a fat pen.

When you slide the typical mouse, a ball in its belly rolls on the table. The computer senses how many times the ball rotated and in what direction.

The mouse was invented at Xerox’s Palo Alto Research Center (PARC). The first company to provide mice to the general public was Apple, which provided a free mouse with every Lisa and Mac computer. Now a free mouse comes with each IBM PC and clone, too.

Microsoft Mouse The nicest mouse for the IBM PC is the Microsoft Mouse. Its first version was boring, but then came an improved version, nicknamed “The Dove Bar” because it was shaped like a bar of Dove soap. It felt great in your hand; but trying to draw a picture by using that mouse — or any mouse — was as clumsy as drawing with a bar of soap.

Then came a further improvement, nicknamed “The Dog’s Paw” because it was shaped like a dog’s lower leg: it was long with an asymmetrical bump (paw) at the end. It felt even better than The Dove Bar, if your hand was big enough to hold it.

The next improvement, nicknamed “The Wheel Mouse”, looked like The Dog’s Paw but added a wheel you could rotate with your fingers.

The newest version, nicknamed “The Sneaker” and officially called the Intellimouse Pro, resembles the Wheel Mouse but its left side is taller, like the raised arch of a fancy sneaker. It costs $65.

Mice from no-name manufacturers cost under $10. Microsoft made a cheap mouse too, called the Home Mouse, in the shape of a home, with the mouse’s cord coming out of the chimney. Microsoft’s newest cheap mouse is called the Basic Mouse; at $16, it’s small enough to be used by kids, lefties, and short people.

Trackballs

A trackball is a box that has a ball sticking out the top of it. To draw, just put your fingers on the ball and rotate it. Some notebook computers have a trackball built into the keyboard.

Technologically, a trackball’s the same as a typical mouse: each is a box containing a ball. For a trackball, the ball sticks up from the box and you finger it directly; for a mouse, the ball hides underneath and gets rotated when you move the box. The mouse feels more natural (somewhat like gripping a pen) but requires lots of desk space (so you can move the box).

The trackball was invented first. The mouse came later and has become more popular — except on notebook computers, which use trackballs and touchpads to save space.

Joysticks

A joystick is a box with a stick coming out of its top. To draw, you move the stick in any direction (left, right, forward, back, or diagonally) as if you were the pilot of a small airplane.

To produce sounds, the standard computer includes speakers.

One tiny speaker hides inside the system unit. It’s called the internal speaker. That speaker’s main purpose is to beep at you if you make a mistake.

A pair of stereo speakers are bigger and can produce good, loud stereo music. Hey, baby, let’s rock!

Those stereo speakers are usually separate boxes that sit outside the system unit. (Exception: some Compaq and Mac computers hide the stereo speakers in the monitor; most notebook computers hide the stereo speakers in the keyboard.)

If your computer is fancy, it includes a trio of stereo speakers: the third speaker is called the subwoofer and produces a big, loud, booming bass.

If your computer is extra-fancy, it gives you surround sound, where you’re surrounded by 4 normal speakers (front left, front right, back left, and back right) plus a subwoofer, making a total of 5 speakers. Since that system includes 4 normal speakers plus 1 subwoofer, it’s called a 4.1 speaker system.

If your computer is even fancier (super-duper fancy), it gives you 5 normal speakers (front left, front right, back left, back right, and center) plus a subwoofer, making a total of 6 speakers. Since that system includes 5 normal speakers plus 1 subwoofer, it’s called a 5.1 speaker system.

To handle the stereo speakers, a standard computer’s system unit contains a sound card.

Fancy computers speak words by including circuitry called a speech synthesizer.

The newest computers come with a microphone (mike). By using the mike, you can make the computer record sounds. For example, you can make the computer record the sound of your voice and imitate it, so the computer sounds just like you!

You can connect your computer to a telephone line so your computer can chat with other computers around the world! Here’s how.…

To let your computer chat with a computer that’s far away, attach each computer to telephone lines by using a “special device” that turns computer signals into telephone signals, and turns telephone signals back into computer signals.

Turning a computer signal into a telephone signal is called modulating the signal. Turning a telephone signal back into a computer signal is called demodulating the signal. Since the “special device” can modulate and also demodulate signals, the device is called a modulator/demodulator (or modem, which is pronounced “mode em”).

Acoustic versus direct-connect

You can buy two kinds of modems.

The old-fashioned kind is a black box that has big ears on top, so that it can listen to the telephone. Because of its big ears, it’s called a Mickey Mouse modem or an acoustic coupler. It usually costs $120.

The newer kind of modem plugs directly into the phone system, as if it were an answering machine. It doesn’t have any ears: it has telephone wires instead. It’s called a direct-connect modem. It usually costs under $50, and it’s cheaper and more reliable than a Mickey Mouse modem. It’s more popular than a Mickey Mouse modem because it’s better than a Mickey Mouse modem in every way, except that you can’t attach it to pay phones or to phones in hotel rooms.

Kinds of direct-connect modems

A direct-connect modem can be either external or internal. If it’s external, it’s a box that sits next to your computer. If it’s internal, it’s a printed-circuit card that hides inside your computer. Regardless of whether it’s external or internal, a wire runs from it to the phone system.

Internal modems are more popular than external ones, because external modems cost more and require that you buy a cable to run from the modem to the computer. But external modems have the advantage of being easier to control, since they give you push-buttons and blinking lights.

Most computers include internal modems at no extra charge.

Most direct-connect modems have fancy features, such as auto-dial (which means the modem can memorize the other computer’s phone number and dial it for you) and auto-answer (which means the modem automatically answers the phone whenever the other computer calls). A direct-connect modem having many such fancy features is called smart. Nearly all modems sold today are smart.

10 bits per character

To transmit a character, the modem usually transmits a 10-bit number, like this: 1001011101.

The first bit (which is always a 1) is called the start bit; it means “hey, wake up, and get ready to receive the data I’m going to send you”. The last bit (which is always a 1) is called the stop bit; it means “hey, I’m done, you can go back to sleep until I send you more data”. The eight middle bits (such as 00101110) are usually called the data bits: they’re a code that represents 1 byte of information (1 character). So to transmit 1 character, the modem transmits 10 bits.

Speed

The first popular modems for personal computers transmitted 300 bits per second (300 bps). That speed is also called 300 baud. Since 10 bits make a character, that kind of modem transmitted 30 characters per second.

After inventing 300 bps modems, engineers invented faster modems: they invented 1200 bps, then 2400 bps, then 9600 bps, then 14400 bps, then 28800 bps, then 33600 bps, then 56600 bps.

Now most modems are 56600 bps. That speed means 56600 bits per second. Since a kilobit is a thousand bits, that speed is 56.6 kilobits per second (56.6 kbps). Most computerists are too lazy to say that; instead they say 56.6 kbps or 56 kilobaud or simply 56K. So a 56K modem is a modem that can transmit 56600 bits per second (which is 5660 characters per second, which is much faster than a human can read).

56K limitations

Unfortunately, if you buy a 56K modem, several limitations prevent you from actually transmitting at 56K. Those limitations force the modem to downshift to a slower speed. Here’s why.…

The government’s Federal Communications Commission (FCC) restricts phone transmissions to 53K, to prevent phone switches from overheating. In most communities, the phone wires are so bad that they can’t handle transmissions faster than 45K reliably. So if you buy a 56K modem, it will probably be restricted to about 45K. In 25% of all communities, the phone system is so poor that a 56K modem will go no faster than a 33.6K modem.

Moreover, 56K modems go faster than 33.6K just when you’re using the Internet (not when you’re communicating directly with friends), and just when you’re receiving (not sending) Internet data, and just when you’re receiving the data from an Internet service provider that uses the same type of 56K modem as yours.

One type of 56K modem, called x2, was invented by modem-maker U.S. Robotics, which is now a division of 3Com. The other type of 56K modem, called k56flex, was invented by modem-chip-maker Rockwell and AT&T-spinoff Lucent. The two types of 56K modems are not compatible with each other.

A third type of 56k modem, called V.90, has been developed by an international committee: the International Telecommunications Union (ITU). Most modem makers promised that if you bought an x2 or k56flex modem, you’d get a free upgrade to V.90. Now most modems sold are V.90.

Fax

You can send messages from your computer to fax machines around the world, if you buy a fax/modem, which is a modem that can also send faxes. If the fax/modem is fancy, it can also receive faxes and print them on your printer.

The typical fax/modem can transmit modem data (to other computers) at 56K but transmits faxes (to fax machines) at just 14.4K.

Brands

The most famous modems were made by Hayes, which charged high prices. Now many companies make cheaper modems that imitate Hayes’ and are called Hayes-compatible. Nearly all modems sold today are Hayes-compatible. Hayes has given up trying to compete against those cheap imitations: Hayes has gone out of business.

Now the most popular Hayes-compatible modems are the ones made by the U.S. Robotics division of 3Com. An internal U.S. Robotics 56K fax/modem costs just $59. A popular alternative is Diamond, whose 56K fax/modem sells for just $40. Even cheaper is Conexant (a division of Rockwell), whose 56K fax/modem sells for just $20! You can get those prices from discount dealers such as PC Connection (800-800-5555), Tri State Computer (800-433-5199 or 212-633-2530) and Harmony (800-870-1663 or 718-692-3232). Those prices are after rebates.

COM1 versus COM2

A modem is an example of a serial device. You might own another serial device also, such as a serial mouse or a serial printer.

The IBM PC can handle two serial devices simultaneously. The first serial device is called communication device #1 (COM1). The second serial device is called COM2.

If you add a modem to your IBM PC or clone, you must decide whether to call the modem COM1 or COM2.

Most hardware and software assume the modem is COM2. To avoid headaches, make the modem be COM2. Here’s how.

If the modem is external, run its cable to your computer’s COM2 port. (If your computer doesn’t have a COM2 port yet, buy a serial interface card containing it.)

If the modem is internal, make sure the switch or jumper on the modem is set to the COM2 position; and make sure no other hardware in your computer system is called COM2. For example, if your computer contains a serial interface card having a COM2 port on it, you must disable the serial interface card’s COM2 port (by moving a jumper or switch on it).

Avoid using COM3 or COM4, since the computer has trouble handling COM3 and COM4 reliably. (COM3 often conflicts with COM1, and COM4 often conflicts with COM2.)

The motherboard and other main circuitry are enclosed in a box. The box and the circuitry inside it are called the system unit. The box itself — without its contents — is called the case.

Interference

The computer thinks at about the same speed (number of cycles per second) as radio & TV waves. If you put your computer next to a radio or TV, the computer’s electromagnetic “thought waves” cause static on the radio or TV. To decrease that interference, move the computer away from the radio or TV (or change the position of the radio or TV’s antenna).

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) prohibits you from owning any device (such as a computer) that interferes with your neighbors’ radio and TV.

The FCC requires all computers to pass the FCC class A non-interference test. Any computer used in a residential area must also pass the FCC class B non-interference test, which is harder to pass than the class A test.

To help the computer pass the class A and class B tests, manufacturers line the insides of cases with metal that breaks up the electromagnetic waves.

When you buy a computer, ask whether it’s FCC class B approved. If it’s not — if it’s just FCC class A approved — you cannot legally use it in a residential area. But you won’t get arrested unless your neighbors complain. If your house is surrounded by a big lawn, so neighbors are far away, they won’t complain. Also, they won’t complain if they use cable TV instead of the airwaves. But they might complain if they try to listen to radio a lot, or if they share an apartment building with you. Be nice to them!

Instead of plugging your computer into the wall, you can plug it into a surge suppressor, which is a special extension cord that protects your computer against surges in electrical power.

Unless you live in a neighborhood or building that has extremely poor electricity, don’t bother buying a surge suppressor. The typical computer has some surge protection built into it already.

If you’re worried about thunderstorms sending surges to your computer, just unplug your computer during storms! If your air conditioner or electric heater consumes too much electricity and causes a brownout (so your computer acts unreliably), use a plain extension cord to plug your computer into a different outlet, so that the computer’s not on the same circuit as the power-hungry appliance.

During the summer, most computer errors are caused by temperatures over 95°, not by power surges.

If your computer is attached to your phone system (by a modem), beware: during a thunderstorm, a power surge can come through the phone line and fry your modem, which in turn can pass the surge to your computer’s motherboard and fry the motherboard also! Most “computer damage caused by a power surge” comes from a surge through the phone line, not a surge through the main power line. If you’re having a thunderstorm and your local phone company is unreliable, unplug the wire that runs from your computer’s modem to your wall’s phone jack. An alternative is to buy a special surge suppressor that sits between the modem and the wall’s phone jack.